Living

How do I capture the most amazing, life-changing 72 hours of my life in a blog? By remembering this is just the beginning of an incredible life together as a family...

Breakfast right before
leaving to meet  R &  E

Here's a snapshot from Monday, the day we finally got to hug each other after seven months of waiting:

Barak and I (along with our rep and two people from the government office) walked up to their house...holding hands, hearts pounding and so, so happy. I'll forever have a clear snapshot in my memory of Ruth running out of the door and straight into my arms. She wrapped her arms around me and buried her head in my chest....we both cried and I kept kissing her and telling her we loved her. I heard Barak say, "Emma!" and looked up to see him all smiles and holding a huge bouquet of flowers. He ran over too, and all four of us hugged together. Ruth held on tight until she turned to Papi (Barak) and latched on just as tight. That part broke me. She simply didn't want to let go. We captured that part on video, and it's precious. We didn't even see her face for at least five full minutes. Their house tios were there along with a few other people, and everyone smiled and cried. Emma gave me this huge hug and said, I love you Mami, and I swear life was absolutely perfect. They took us on a tour of their house, and it was incredible. Emma and B left to play for a bit, and Ruth and I spent about 20 minutes just talking. She showered me with handmade jewlerey (including a bracelet with the initials of all four of us), pictures, a poem, etc. She showed me the album B and I had made her, and I told her some of the special stories behind the pictures. Then Emma appeared in the room and we all started playing...B came...and let's just say we were a normal family with our son hiding under the bed, us trying to tackle him, our daughter as a "spy" sneaking into the room...simply normal and incredibly happy. It truly was like we'd been together forever.  

That began an incredible first day together. Emma had a small breakdown when we didn't go to his restaurant of choice (McDonald's)...but we all enjoyed spending lunch together...talking, taking pictures and videos...B and Emma covering a napkin with drawings...just living life together. Then our rep took us back to the apartment to enjoy an afternoon together. We made playdough, danced and sang, watched a few minutes of Barbie in Spanish together, showed them their rooms, etc. We all curled up on the bed together (our living room is actually B's and my bedroom)...started Ruth's scrapbook...did I mention the karaoke in Spanish? :)

Then we went to a photo place to take pics for their visas. Emma refused--for a while--to get his picture taken. It was in this moment that we realized we were truly the parents and will desperately need God to be with us each and every moment. This is all so new to us...learning how to love by setting limits and boundaries...how and when to give the good and the hard consequences. We will take it one day at a time...just one day at a time.

On the way back to their house, Ruth curled up in my lap and tried to fall asleep. Emma grabbed my arm and wrapped it around him. I remember how he put my hand in his and held on tight. These are the moments that make a simple day beyond incredible. Neither one wanted to go back, but we'd already kept them out way past their normal bedtime. Hopefully they'll get to come home with us tomorrow for good.

We experienced the father's love today so purely. We are committed to giving all that we can of him to these precious kids, to loving them in the easy and the hard moments...to asking God to stay with us through every part of the journey.

When B and I got back to our apartment, we fell asleep quickly, happily exhausted...and it was only 9:30!

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On Tuesday, we took them for their medical examination, and I held Ruth close during her vaccine. Both of them were extremely brave, and we're grateful for the kind doctor. Then we spent some time at the Consulate, another family adventure complete with a shut down from Emma. I had told him we would be taking them back to the group home afterward, and he asked why we had to leave them there. Heartbreaking...so many moments where we continue to know we absolutely cannot do this without having God with us every minute. Then today was a super tranquilo (relaxed) day, everyone together. All three days have been incredible...a few highlights include Ruth's infectious laugh when she scared me, our family tickling wars, Barak reading with Emma, sharing and praying together, cooking our first meal in the apartment, playing frisbee in the park, lots of hugs, kisses, cuddling, and hand-holding, and an entire lifetime together to look forward to. Oh! And, of course, finding out that tonight is our last night apart. Tomorrow we officially bring them back to the apartment to stay with us permanently. !!!! 

Now that is living. 

Pura Vida

We're here!!!!

Yesterday our representative Emilia picked us up at the airport and took us around San Jose. She has a sweet, bubbly personality and obviously didn't want to be anywhere but with us and helping us bring our family together. 
 
When we received the call 10 days ago, they gave us the option to come next week because there was no guarantee we'd get to meet the kids right away. But we came by faith, asking and expecting God to make a way. He absolutely has....Tomorrow morning at 9:00 we are meeting Ruth and Emmanuel! Our agenda says, "9:00 Family Meeting." We love that. :)
 
It feels like we haven't stopped smiling...or asking God to stay with us & thanking him for all he has done--so above and and beyond. It is so good to be here...such a special place. We spent most of the day walking around San Jose...drinking the world's best cafe and fresh mango smoothies, eating gallo pinto (our favorite), buying bilingual books and a few games, getting poster board to make welcome signs, and enjoying every minute simply being together in every sense of the word. 

This is living, people. Tomorrow the Gibson family officially doubles in size--para siempre. 

Family Day

This morning I received an email from our social worker that our edict has been released in the national publication (buletin nacional), the last step before our case goes to a judge and we get a date. But then she called and said the court decided to do something very different in our case. Instead of waiting for everything to finish, they've decided to have us come to Costa Rica first. Once again, God has changed the rules--just for us.

We leave for Costa Rica next Saturday, August 25, and will get to meet Ruth and Emmanuel on August 27, exactly six months after "meeting" them on paper. Unbelievable. !!!!!

Last night I wrote Barak and told him that I was asking God by faith to make a way for us to be there soon, even sooner than the system said was possible. God did exactly that--and more. Today is a national holiday in Costa Rica. It's Mother's Day....even better, we're going to call it Family Day.

Ten days!!!! :)

Also, I just got done Skyping with them. They don't know yet that we have a travel date (their social worker and/or psychologist is going to tell them first), so I did my very best not to give anything away. I really can't think of anything better than hearing them say, "Feliz dia de las madres, te quiero" on such an incredibly special day.

Small Things

It’s the small things that can change your life.  It’s the small things that can remind you just how big love is.

This happened Saturday in an unexpected way for Barak. Just a short time before, he had sent his favorite hat to Emma. When Emma appeared on the screen sporting his new hat, it really touched both of us. B told him that he’d just been wearing it a few weeks earlier, and he loved seeing it on Emma.

Later that night in the midst of an unrelated conversation, B  turned to me and said, “Maaan! It’s crazy that I was just wearing that hat and now our son has it.” He was all smiles.

We can’t hold them yet, but we can share our love and receive theirs.  Sometimes it’s through a hat. Or a favorite scarf. Or a big smile. Or a heart we make with our hands and share via Skype. Or an email every day for six months. Or a “Los quiero mucho.” Or not ever wanting to hang up the phone. Or laughing together.  

God is giving us a lifetime of love—together.  

Parenthood

Parenthood is when you consider someone else far more than yourself. When you love with a fierce protection. When you can't fall asleep because you're smiling too much, from the inside out. When only a picture or a simple word can make your whole day. When you pray for someone with all your heart, all your faith. When you know your love is never based on their love for you.

Parenthood is a commitment. A decision to love another life with all you are. A life-changing promise to give your best, even on the hard days. A reminder that we need someone to model God's love to us.

We are living proof that parenthood is not based on a physical closeness. Nor is it determined by a physical birth. Instead, parenthood is from the heart. And it is from the heart that Barak and I are absolutely in love, happier than ever before.... Committed to parenting these two beautiful children God chose just for us.

We are parents.

The Transition

Several weeks ago, Ruth and Emmanuel were moved from their foster family to a group home on the other side of San Jose. It was a really hard transition at first, especially the day the kids found out they were leaving. That night Ruth asked to speak to her parents, and only a few minutes into the conversation with us, she broke into tears. She cried and she cried. Gosh, that breaks a parent's heart. But it turned into a special time to be together as a family and to love her. She assured us that she is really happy about coming with us soon and how much she loves us, and we assured her that we completely understand why she is sad and hurting. God gave her such an incredible family to love her and Emmanuel for two years, and they'll always be a part of her life.

They've been in their new place for a few weeks and are doing really well. Their foster tia and tio (they reserve Mom and Dad for us) are wonderful people and truly care about them. Their tia is American, as are the directors of the entire program, so they are not only practicing English but also learning about new American traditions--such as a Fourth of July celebration this week. Most importantly, they're happy. They're surrounded by people who love the Lord and truly love them. And in the last week, we've noticed a great change with them since when they first left the only stable world they've known to begin this transition. They're extra playful and seem to really enjoy being together. We laugh, play games, and entertain each other as if we've been together forever.

In some ways, we have. God has known all along. And that is forever.

Coming

“Por qué no vienen?” Why aren’t you coming?

After 20 minutes of looking sad and avoiding eye contact, Emmanuel finally--and reluctantly--asked us this heartbreaking question Sunday.  For an instant I glanced at B and knew we were thinking the same thing: reassure him, remind him this long wait isn’t the same as other losses he has experienced in the past. We both longed to be able to reach through the screen and hug Emma, to show him how much we love him and are doing everything possible to come quickly. One day that moment will come.

For now, we’ll continue to pray for God’s timing—and we’ll enjoy each minute on Skype, each email, each text, each picture.

We are coming, Emma. Te lo prometemos. We promise.  

La cancion

Yesterday I heard a new song…from our daughter. Freely and from her heart, she sang to us.

Beautiful. Absolutely beautiful. A couple of times she covered up her face out of embarrassment, but she kept singing. When finished, several times she said, “Mom, cántame una canción” (sing me a song), and I couldn’t think of one in Spanish. But then Papi rescued me by recommending we sing one that we know from church, one that means so much to us because it talks about who God is. We—who are definitely not known for our melodic voices—sang “Forever Reign.” And I believe that it, too, was beautiful. We were singing to the Lord AND to our daughter. She smiled the entire time, a smile that seems to erase all of the hard moments….such as afterward when we had to talk to her about being nice to her brother. Such as the struggles she has faced in her past that want to define her. Such as a decade of uncertainty and pain.

My heart is singing today.  Sing with me.

Birthdays

They are days to celebrate—celebrate each other and all God can do to make a year so special. This past Monday my husband turned 40, a number that sounds much older than we both feel. Several weeks ago I asked him what he wanted to do to celebrate, and he jokingly replied that we should have a Cinco de Mayo party (two days prior to his actual birthday). Before I could finish my sentence asking who we should invite, he said quite simply, “Ruth and Emmanuel.” 

So on Saturday he thought he was attending a leadership meeting for the youth theater company we volunteer for. It was a perfect set-up, especially because we get together all the time. Even when we walked into our friends’ house and people jumped out of every corner yelling “Surprise!” B still didn’t realize it was a party for him; he thought we were celebrating Cinco de Mayo. That says a lot about how selfless my husband is. When our friends’ four-year-old son handed him a birthday card, he realized that we definitely were not having a group meeting. But that wasn’t the best part of the night.

Fast forward about 10 minutes. My friend Katie had set up her computer with a huge screen (sheets serve multiple purposes!) in the front room. Barak hadn’t noticed when I snuck out of the room because I had a very important Skype call to make. I will forever remember the moment I looked up and saw his face as he walked down the hall. He couldn’t see or hear our kids yet, but he figured it out. With the biggest smile, he said, “Oh…is this what I think it is?” Right then he stepped into the room and saw Ruth bigger than life on the wall. It didn’t matter that we had Skyped with them for two hours that morning. Nope, all that mattered was that he got to celebrate his birthday with his kids. Such a true father. With all of our friends gathered around, we brought out a cake and everyone, including our kids and their foster parents and sister, happily sang “Feliz Cumpleanos.”  Emma was pretty shy and only stayed on screen for a moment. But everyone in the room will remember when Ruth looked right at B and said—in her limited but practiced English—“Happy birthday, Papi. I love you.”

Some presents will never have a price tag.

Immigration

This week they came: official immigration papers, known in the adoption world as the I-800. I opened Emmanuel's first and stared at it for a full minute before it hit me. It is a provisional approval, which threw me until I realized they don't send final papers until after the adoption. So this is it--the final stage other than updating our documents and waiting for the judicial process to start. It could be just a few more weeks....or it could still be several months. The waiting continues, but we are waiting happily and expectedly.

Immigration is a permanent step--just as we are a permanent family.Una family para siempre.

While we wait, we get to keep dreaming, preparing, and connecting with our kids. Yesterday they received their care package, and it's special to know they have pictures, letters, and presents made just for them. Some of the youth and kids in our church sent them letters, too, and it's a reminder that they are loved by a huge family. We treasure all the Skype calls together. Whether they are playful and upbeat or they pull back some, we always enjoy spending time with them. And they are quick to tell us they love us and to ask how soon we're coming. We've also learned that Emmanuel loves the emoticons and Ruth is a huge fan of typing while we Skype. Emmanuel wants to be a ninja, and we have fun acting that out together. (Um, just picture B! :)

Love

Love really does transcend all else--at least when it's God's love that he puts inside of us.

I just got done with a spontaneous Skype call with my children, their social worker, and my mom. They got to meet their abuela today, and she can't stop gushing. It's precious to see this pure love she already has for them. Ruth and Emmanuel were all smiles. When Ruth told my mom "I am happy" in perfect English--with a huge grin--I'm not sure if the first happy tear came from my mom or from me. We're learning every day that some things will always be priceless.

Texting with Ruth this past hour is another gift beyond price. Whether she's asking about Papi, telling me she loves me, calling me Mami and Mama, asking how soon we're coming, or helping me figure out how to use the emoticons, it's all the perfect conversation. They make me laugh. Smile. Feel protective. Want to burst out of happiness. Want to never forget how incredibly good and faithful God is. THIS is love. This transcends an emotion.

We are so impressed with our kids' social worker and all of the staff at Casa Viva (whom I got to meet via Skype today). They obviously really care about the kids and only want the best for them. THAT is love.

I'm understanding more every day the sacrifice God made in letting go of his son. That is the ultimate love.

I'm in WA with my parents because I'm seeing a doctor here for my foot. Despite the physical trials hitting every day, I am confident that I have experienced and now can give this real love--his real love.

Moving Forward

At the bank signing our acceptance letter

We are about to mail the immigration papers. It is hard to describe how it feels to complete a visa application for your own children...knowing that God has given them a new home--forever. Since Costa Rica requires families to begin the judicial process prior to travel, we might still be here another few months. There is one other family adopting from Costa Rica ahead of us in the process, and they waited about four months from the time they mailed their immigration papers.

But in the meantime we get to email our kids every day, and we'll get to see and hear them again tomorrow on Skype. This is an amazing journey, and God continues to show us the verse that says he does so much more than we could ever think or imagine.

The Gibsons (minus 2)

Our friend Paige just posted some pics she took of me and Barak a few weeks ago, and she told me she can't wait until the next Gibson photo shoot--that it might be a lifetime favorite. The Gibsons: family of four. :)

Life

Yesterday marked two days in a row of Skyping with our children...life is so full. There are moments when I feel like my heart might explode, but it's a happy explosion--like there's too much love to contain. We learned yesterday that Ruth's favorite color is blue, just like her mom. We also learned that her favorite thing is...being with us. That was a moment that will last a lifetime.

We also got to meet the foster dad and talk with both him and his wife for a few minutes. They and their 20-year-old daughter are super special and all obviously love the kids so much. That means the world to us. They are surrounded by really good people--God's people.

On Friday when Barak got to share a few minutes of the Skype call with the leaders and youth on the trip in New York, we received an email shortly after from our good friend Gwen. She wrote, "I have been crying since I saw you two talking to each other and then to see the kids just touched me so deeply.  The verse from proverbs (13) came on my heart... 'Hope deferred maketh the heart sick: but when the desire cometh, it is a tree of life.'  That's what I feel...a tree of life worth of love and blessing from how God is writing this story."

Gwen, you said it perfectly. We are experiencing a tree of life. God continues to write this story, his story.

Time

Ninety minutes.

That’s a short amount of time to change your life forever.  It’s also how long we got to Skype with Ruth and Emmanuel for the first time. And most definitely, our lives will never be the same. There truly aren't words to describe how we feel... It was perfect. God's plan is perfect. As a friend wrote us, this is the tree of life he is giving all of us--a miracle, a testimony to who he is.



B Sykping with our kids for the first time
Check out his big smile!

They are all smiles and full of love. They asked lots of questions and shared some of their fears too. We laughed, cried, and even prayed together. We met their foster mom and social worker, such special people who truly love them and want the very best for them. The social worker told me later that they have all been praying for us, and they know we've been part of God's plan all along. B got to show them some of the youth from Selma that we work with. (He’s on a trip with them in New York.)  And when he got teary-eyed at one point, it really touched Ruth to see how much we love them. They asked several times how quickly we'd get to see them, and Ruth asked if we could come in the morning. :)

 At the very end B and I had to hang up separately  due to the technology, but I believe Ruth's words--said with a big smile--say it all: Adios, Mama.

 They asked us to call them again in the morning, so we have 11 more minutes until seeing their hopeful, joyful faces once again. Nobody wanted to say goodbye yesterday, and what is so beautiful is that we never will. This is forever. As our kids say, una familia para siempre.  A forever family.

Unexplainable

Our social worker recently received Ruth and Emmanuel’s birth certificates, so hopefully we’ll be able to file the I-800 soon. We were told to prepare to have to wait another six months before travel…which feels crazy but is yet another opportunity to remember that God’s timing is always best.

His judgment is always best, too. I’m learning in a very personal way that people’s judgment is not.  Let me give you an example. A couple of weeks ago I was speaking with a coworker I know well. Her excitement for our kids is really special, so I wasn’t surprised when she told me we should have lots of kids because I’m so good with them. It made me chuckle for a moment because she’s only seen me with college students. But I appreciated her comment and told her that Barak and I couldn’t be happier about the kids we have—our kids. Then she said that she hoped I would get pregnant. Ok, I’ve heard that comment a lot the last two and a half years, but this was the first time since “meeting” our children. I could feel it hit something in my heart…something that reminded me that people might make similar comments to our children, making them feel like they are second best. I again assured her that we couldn’t be happier with the family God has chosen for us, and that this is our FIRST choice. That didn’t stop her, however. She added that she was going to pray that I would get pregnant. I couldn’t believe it. So I decided to let her know why that was impossible, figuring that would end the conversation. Nope. That is when she added that she believed in a God who can do miracles. I politely told her that I do, too, and that our family is one of the happiest miracles I know—and promptly left the room.

Ruth and Emmanuel met with their new social worker two days ago, and Ruth, who had commented a few weeks ago about how much we love them, asked why we love them so much. It’s hard to write that statement without feeling the tears creeping up. The best part is that last night our social worker told us we could write them an email. So we made a letter/card complete with pictures and bright colors. We also answered Ruth’s question: It’s simple. God put an indescribable love in our hearts for them, and we knew instantly that they are our kids. Para siempre. Forever.

Life’s most precious gifts are simply unexplainable.

Familia

God promises to complete every work he starts--and our family is living proof.

Let me take you back a few weeks to January 27, 2012--the day we "met" Ruth and Emmanuel. That is the day we began a new normal, the day we received a phone call that there were two beautiful children on the Waiting International Children list that matched our description. I raced home, and my husband and I quietly and breathlessly read through every page of their referral. It wasn't until the very end that we finally spoke. And we knew...simply knew that God was giving us these children.

Since then we have moved forward by faith. That Sunday we had a huge celebration at church, complete with a beautiful video a friend made for us to help introduce our church family to our children. Everyone exploded in applause, and we shared many tears and hugs.

The next day we found out that there were actually multiple families interested in adopting Ruth and Emmanuel. Yet we believed by faith that God had spoken to our hearts about bringing us together as a family. So we drove three hours to IKEA and bought a new bedroom set with each piece chosen specifically for our children. We wrote in their journal, our friends' nine-year-old daughter decorated a box and filled it with her Barbies to give to Ruth, another friend began a quilt to give them, we made Ruth a card on her birthday knowing we could deliver it one day, we showed their pictures to all of our friends and spoke about them regularly...we plowed in home.

Then came the call. Even though we were expecting it to come at some point, nothing could have prepared us for that exact moment when God intervenes, when he completes the good work he began. Twenty-four hours later, we are completely amazed at his perfect timing. Ruth and Emmanuel already know about us (which seems to break every adoption rule we've heard), and they even read the letter we wrote the Costa Rican government in January expressing our intent to adopt. Ruth said she can tell we love them, and Emmanuel asked if he could call us so we could come the next day to meet them.

This morning we mailed our acceptance letter. Yet we OFFICIALLY accepted over a month ago. It is hard to explain how we feel about these children--how much we love them. We want to provide them with a stable, loving, nurturing home where they will know they are free to be themselves and to discover their strengths, passions, and abilities. They will be an instant part of our family, including our extended church family who are all so ready to support them however they can.

It is a time to celebrate.  God is completing his good work--but in some ways his good work is just beginning.