Time

Ninety minutes.

That’s a short amount of time to change your life forever.  It’s also how long we got to Skype with Ruth and Emmanuel for the first time. And most definitely, our lives will never be the same. There truly aren't words to describe how we feel... It was perfect. God's plan is perfect. As a friend wrote us, this is the tree of life he is giving all of us--a miracle, a testimony to who he is.



B Sykping with our kids for the first time
Check out his big smile!

They are all smiles and full of love. They asked lots of questions and shared some of their fears too. We laughed, cried, and even prayed together. We met their foster mom and social worker, such special people who truly love them and want the very best for them. The social worker told me later that they have all been praying for us, and they know we've been part of God's plan all along. B got to show them some of the youth from Selma that we work with. (He’s on a trip with them in New York.)  And when he got teary-eyed at one point, it really touched Ruth to see how much we love them. They asked several times how quickly we'd get to see them, and Ruth asked if we could come in the morning. :)

 At the very end B and I had to hang up separately  due to the technology, but I believe Ruth's words--said with a big smile--say it all: Adios, Mama.

 They asked us to call them again in the morning, so we have 11 more minutes until seeing their hopeful, joyful faces once again. Nobody wanted to say goodbye yesterday, and what is so beautiful is that we never will. This is forever. As our kids say, una familia para siempre.  A forever family.

Unexplainable

Our social worker recently received Ruth and Emmanuel’s birth certificates, so hopefully we’ll be able to file the I-800 soon. We were told to prepare to have to wait another six months before travel…which feels crazy but is yet another opportunity to remember that God’s timing is always best.

His judgment is always best, too. I’m learning in a very personal way that people’s judgment is not.  Let me give you an example. A couple of weeks ago I was speaking with a coworker I know well. Her excitement for our kids is really special, so I wasn’t surprised when she told me we should have lots of kids because I’m so good with them. It made me chuckle for a moment because she’s only seen me with college students. But I appreciated her comment and told her that Barak and I couldn’t be happier about the kids we have—our kids. Then she said that she hoped I would get pregnant. Ok, I’ve heard that comment a lot the last two and a half years, but this was the first time since “meeting” our children. I could feel it hit something in my heart…something that reminded me that people might make similar comments to our children, making them feel like they are second best. I again assured her that we couldn’t be happier with the family God has chosen for us, and that this is our FIRST choice. That didn’t stop her, however. She added that she was going to pray that I would get pregnant. I couldn’t believe it. So I decided to let her know why that was impossible, figuring that would end the conversation. Nope. That is when she added that she believed in a God who can do miracles. I politely told her that I do, too, and that our family is one of the happiest miracles I know—and promptly left the room.

Ruth and Emmanuel met with their new social worker two days ago, and Ruth, who had commented a few weeks ago about how much we love them, asked why we love them so much. It’s hard to write that statement without feeling the tears creeping up. The best part is that last night our social worker told us we could write them an email. So we made a letter/card complete with pictures and bright colors. We also answered Ruth’s question: It’s simple. God put an indescribable love in our hearts for them, and we knew instantly that they are our kids. Para siempre. Forever.

Life’s most precious gifts are simply unexplainable.

Familia

God promises to complete every work he starts--and our family is living proof.

Let me take you back a few weeks to January 27, 2012--the day we "met" Ruth and Emmanuel. That is the day we began a new normal, the day we received a phone call that there were two beautiful children on the Waiting International Children list that matched our description. I raced home, and my husband and I quietly and breathlessly read through every page of their referral. It wasn't until the very end that we finally spoke. And we knew...simply knew that God was giving us these children.

Since then we have moved forward by faith. That Sunday we had a huge celebration at church, complete with a beautiful video a friend made for us to help introduce our church family to our children. Everyone exploded in applause, and we shared many tears and hugs.

The next day we found out that there were actually multiple families interested in adopting Ruth and Emmanuel. Yet we believed by faith that God had spoken to our hearts about bringing us together as a family. So we drove three hours to IKEA and bought a new bedroom set with each piece chosen specifically for our children. We wrote in their journal, our friends' nine-year-old daughter decorated a box and filled it with her Barbies to give to Ruth, another friend began a quilt to give them, we made Ruth a card on her birthday knowing we could deliver it one day, we showed their pictures to all of our friends and spoke about them regularly...we plowed in home.

Then came the call. Even though we were expecting it to come at some point, nothing could have prepared us for that exact moment when God intervenes, when he completes the good work he began. Twenty-four hours later, we are completely amazed at his perfect timing. Ruth and Emmanuel already know about us (which seems to break every adoption rule we've heard), and they even read the letter we wrote the Costa Rican government in January expressing our intent to adopt. Ruth said she can tell we love them, and Emmanuel asked if he could call us so we could come the next day to meet them.

This morning we mailed our acceptance letter. Yet we OFFICIALLY accepted over a month ago. It is hard to explain how we feel about these children--how much we love them. We want to provide them with a stable, loving, nurturing home where they will know they are free to be themselves and to discover their strengths, passions, and abilities. They will be an instant part of our family, including our extended church family who are all so ready to support them however they can.

It is a time to celebrate.  God is completing his good work--but in some ways his good work is just beginning.

Inspiration

Some of life's greatest moments are those that inspire us, that challenge and encourage us. One such moment for me came several weeks ago when a friend shared a link to a video clip from Australia's acclaimed X-Factor. If you are an adopting family, this story will grip your heart. But I'm confident it will have the same impact on every mother, father, brother, sister, grandparent--anybody who deeply cares about helping people overcome life's obstacles. I don't want to spoil the remarkable story, so please check it out yourself. But don't forget the kleenex. Here's the link: Emmanuel Kelly

Esperando

Even when days go by and the people closest to me don't hear me mention anything about the adoption or our future family, I am still thinking on them often. Sometimes I feel like they are a secret gift and I haven't figured out how to share the gift yet. For example, yesterday was a hard day physically. But in the middle of the struggle, God kept reminding me of this immeasurable gift just waiting for me and Barak. He is the one who gives us these precious relationships and knows just how much we impact one another. I have no idea who our kids are...but he does. And just knowing that brings such a comfort and a hope for the future he has for all of us together. He has been teaching me how to hope in him, not in the circumstance, to hope in who he is, not in the promises he has given us. But I can hope for those promises--and I do so by faith. That faith feeds me on the long days and refuels me on the good days. THAT is the gift I'm still trying to figure out how to best share with people.

Last night our adoption social worker (not sure if that's his official title) came over for a home study update. I treasure those times together. In two years, he has only come three times, but it's amazing how much people can share in a short amount of time when what they're sharing is closest to their hearts. He and his wife have adopted two children already and are in the process of adopting a six-year-old girl from China. Their story is remarkable, and his heart for his family even more so. It's so encouraging to be able to talk to someone who has walked through the process and can understand the emotions and questions of the adoption journey. It'll be so incredible to bring our two families together one day. Our kids have an entire world waiting to meet them...incredible.

In Spanish there is only one word for waiting and hoping: esperando. Beautiful, right? We're waiting in hope and great expectation.

A note for my kids: Hijitos mios, les escribo para decirles q' espero q' mantengan su amor del espanol y q' quieran seguir aprendiendolo y usandolo. Es una parte de quienes son. Hay dos muchachas recien conocidas de nuestra iglesia que son de Peru. Una no habla casi nada de espanol. Me da tristeza (pena?) porque ella va a faltar esa parte de su heritage. Pues es su decision 100% cual idioma o idiomas quieren usar, pero espero q' quieran seguir usando los dos. Pero lo mas importante es q' esten felices con la decision. Los quiero, Mami

Aprobados! Approved!

No puedo creerlo...hard to believe this day is really here. Let me paint a picture for you.

My friend Jade and I were hard at work campaigning this morning, knocking on doors and taking people to vote. We had just left a house on Lapsley when I heard my BlackBerry singing for me. Jade had stopped to talk to a friend who was driving by, and I glanced at my BB. First I saw the name Argerie--our social worker. Then I read the caption: "Good news!" I didn't even open the email before bursting into tears. If there were words to describe what I felt in my heart that moment, I'd gladly capture them for anyone reading this blog. But since I can't seem to find the words, I'll be content to tell you that in one single moment, I experienced a joy I wanted to share with the world. I can't even begin to imagine how it will feel when we receive a call or an email saying they've found our kids....it'll be a magnified version of today!

So back to my moment in the street. I still hadn't actually opened the email. Instead, I tried to explain to Jade what had happened and somehow--between happy tears--told her that Costa Rica had approved us. She gave me this huge hug and said some encouraging words, then hugged me again. We were both smiling like little girls...still standing in the middle of the street. :) It was a priceless moment, and I'm so thankful I got to experience it with a sister who had walked this road with me. She remembers when Costa Rica declined us several months back. She was there to remind me about God's faithfulness during the many months without news. She knows the story of how Costa Rica thought I was manic-depressant and lying about my medication (the long story I will blog about someday soon).

We then read the email together ...so sweet to see the words "You're approved!" in print. Then she took me home so I could tell Barak. On the way, I called Lj. Lj thought I was calling about something related to the campaign, so I decided to wait and tell her in person. A few minutes later, we saw her and JJ, and this part of the story is worth have Laura tell you. All I remember is Jade pulling up next to them, and although I was trying so hard to come up with something witty to say, all I managed to do was burst into tears. Lj figured it out right away and didn't stop hugging me. She told JJ, "You're going to have cousins!" Then the four of us went to my house to fill in B. Since he was on a conference call, we decided to wait. Like we weren't obvious! Picture the four of us smiling giddily and just waiting in his office. It was great to have that time with Laura and Jade. We read the whole document from Costa Rica and enjoyed every detail, and every few minutes JJ would talk about having cousins. It was so sweet. B talked on the phone for a while, but we finally got to celebrate together.

This is what I know: When God speaks a promise, it is exactly that--a promise. He spoke to us about adopting and later opened door after door to adopt from Costa Rica. Although there have been trials and set backs along the way, we have held on by faith, knowing that these are his kids he is bringing to us. Although we expected today to come, I don't think we expected to feel such an overwhelming appreciation for who he is...to feel the depth of joy that comes when God gives you the exact desire of your heart.

Update!

Can you believe it--two blogs in one day? :) I must be making up for lost time. We just heard from our social worker in Costa Rica, and although PANI (the adoption agency) did meet on the 16th, they didn't make it to our case. If all goes well, they will meet this Thursday and hopefully we'll have a decision by late next week.

It's crazy that they've had our application since August. Supposedly they only take 3-4 months to approve... We're learning that in the adoption world, "supposedly" doesn't carry a lot of weight. What DOES matter more than we ever dreamed it would is the tiny word yes. Yes, our documents arrived safely. Yes, our home study was approved. Yes, we'd love to be connected to other adopting families. And one day: Yes, Costa Rica approved us. YES, they have found our children. One day. We will be ready.