Even when days go by and the people closest to me don't hear me mention anything about the adoption or our future family, I am still thinking on them often. Sometimes I feel like they are a secret gift and I haven't figured out how to share the gift yet. For example, yesterday was a hard day physically. But in the middle of the struggle, God kept reminding me of this immeasurable gift just waiting for me and Barak. He is the one who gives us these precious relationships and knows just how much we impact one another. I have no idea who our kids are...but he does. And just knowing that brings such a comfort and a hope for the future he has for all of us together. He has been teaching me how to hope in him, not in the circumstance, to hope in who he is, not in the promises he has given us. But I can hope for those promises--and I do so by faith. That faith feeds me on the long days and refuels me on the good days. THAT is the gift I'm still trying to figure out how to best share with people.
Last night our adoption social worker (not sure if that's his official title) came over for a home study update. I treasure those times together. In two years, he has only come three times, but it's amazing how much people can share in a short amount of time when what they're sharing is closest to their hearts. He and his wife have adopted two children already and are in the process of adopting a six-year-old girl from China. Their story is remarkable, and his heart for his family even more so. It's so encouraging to be able to talk to someone who has walked through the process and can understand the emotions and questions of the adoption journey. It'll be so incredible to bring our two families together one day. Our kids have an entire world waiting to meet them...incredible.
In Spanish there is only one word for waiting and hoping: esperando. Beautiful, right? We're waiting in hope and great expectation.
A note for my kids: Hijitos mios, les escribo para decirles q' espero q' mantengan su amor del espanol y q' quieran seguir aprendiendolo y usandolo. Es una parte de quienes son. Hay dos muchachas recien conocidas de nuestra iglesia que son de Peru. Una no habla casi nada de espanol. Me da tristeza (pena?) porque ella va a faltar esa parte de su heritage. Pues es su decision 100% cual idioma o idiomas quieren usar, pero espero q' quieran seguir usando los dos. Pero lo mas importante es q' esten felices con la decision. Los quiero, Mami
